Self-Discovery Questions

When I write these questions, I do them in a way I can't answer them like I'm simply ticking them off, or like a test, because no one likes tests.

Some of the answers come easily, some take a while, and some stay closed until I’m ready. I make my own rules as I go, and so should you..

But here’s what that looks like in practice for me:

• One at a time. I don’t blast through the whole list. I pick one that pulls at me or scares me a little and give it space.

• I write before I edit. Whatever comes out first, messy, contradictory, or unfinished, is usually closer to the truth than the polished version.

• I drop below the roles. If I catch myself writing job titles or relationship statuses, I pause and ask again: Who am I underneath that?

• I notice my body. I pay attention to the physical response: tightness, a flicker of excitement, a lump in my throat. Those are clues, too.

• I let it evolve. My answers change over time. I take that as growth.

An Example in Action

Take the question “When you’re not someone’s parent, partner, friend, or boss, what remains?”

If I answer it quickly, I might write “I’m a healer” or “I’m an entrepreneur.” But if I sit with it, I find something else entirely:

“When I’m not in a role, I’m a curious observer. I’m the child who wanted to know how trees breathe. I’m the one who notices patterns and turns them into meaning. I’m irreverent, I love to make people laugh, and I still collect stones on the beach.”

The second answer feels alive; it existed long before the world handed me job titles and labels. And there is a difference between labels and essence

Answering the questions this way creates internal anchors for me. Rather than seeking any sort of validation through external proof, I’m teaching my subconscious to focus on the steady aspects within me. Those steady aspects steer my decisions, values, and relationships much more reliably than any job or possession.

Make Your Own Rules

When you try this, treat it like a conversation with yourself, not an interrogation.

Be curious instead of critical, and let your answers be strange, funny, contradictory, or incomplete. This isn’t about self-improvement; it’s about self-discovery, so you get to decide the pace and the shape of it.

If nobody could see your job or your possessions, how would you show your value? Sit with it, write about it, and let it shift something deep.

Enjoy x

. The Surface Inventory

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  What are the first five words you’d use to describe yourself, and why those?

• If your social media vanished tomorrow, who would you be without the public proof?

• Which of your achievements do you secretly use as an anchor for your worth?

• What’s the one opinion others hold of you that you’re terrified of losing?

  
  

2. Beyond Roles & Labels

• When you’re not someone’s parent, partner, friend, or boss... what remains?

• Which titles or roles feel like costumes you’ve outgrown but still wear?

• What do you defend about yourself most quickly, and what does that reveal?

• If nobody could see your job or your possessions, how would you show your value?

  
  

3. The Inner Compass

• What values feel non-negotiable even if they cost you money, approval, or status?

• When have you felt the most “at home” in your own skin, and what was happening?

• Which moments make time dissolve for you, and what does that say about your real priorities?

• What patterns repeat in your relationships, and what do they teach you about how you see yourself?

  
  

4. Peeling Back the Story

• Which childhood beliefs about yourself still influence your decisions today?

• What parts of your story do you tell dramatically but secretly doubt?

• When do you feel like you’re acting instead of being?

• If your life were a book and you could cut one chapter forever, which would it be — and why?

5. Meeting the “I Am”

• If all your memories were wiped except one feeling, which feeling would you choose to keep?

• When you sit in silence and ask, “Who am I?” what sensations arise first ... not thoughts, but physical sensations?

• Without using any adjectives or nouns, how would you describe the awareness that’s reading these words right now?

• If “I am” is the blank canvas, what paint are you choosing each day, and is it yours or borrowed?

  
  

6. Future Self as a Mirror

• What would your 90-year-old self thank you for discovering now?

• If you could wake up tomorrow fully aligned with your truest self, what would look different?

• What tiny act today would move you closer to that alignment?

Take one or more questions this week, sit with them, and let them unfold. When you meet yourself beyond the labels, you’ll find a steadiness that no job title, possession, or crisis can take from you.

Much love

Penny x