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Writer's picturePenny Green

Cutting the Cords: Reclaiming Your Power from Toxic Relationships



As an energetic and spiritual healer,I’ve learned that the connections we create in all relationships, whether intimate or otherwise—are deeply rooted in energy. It doesn’t matter how close or distant you are geographically, the energetic exchange happens regardless. When I work with clients who are in distress, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, my first step is always to clear the energies of conflictive or negative relationships.


These connections are so powerful that, even after years have passed since the conflict or attack happened, I can see the person or people who have ( literally) taken up residence in my clients energy, as if they were standing right in front of me.


I see their clothes, their posture, their personality, sometimes even the car they drive right now. This is the nature of conflict, it embeds itself in your energy field, causing corruption in every part of your being. Once these energies are cleared, clients often see remarkable instant shifts, careers begin to flourish, success draws near, and physical or emotional ailments start to lift. To say nothing of their emotional state balancing out. Never underestimate the damage conflict can cause in your body and your life when you allow it to take root and remain.   


Maybe take a moment and think of the amount of people and situations that you have within your energy field today.. It could very well be the reason your life may not being taking the path that was meant for you….. you know the perfect one :)





We’ve all been there... stuck in the middle of a disagreement or caught up in someone else’s drama. It pulls at you, tugs at your energy until it feels like you’re tethered to this heavy weight you can’t shake off. You might not even realise it, but every time you get wrapped up in trying to be right or prove a point, you're giving away a piece of yourself. Your power? It’s leaking out with every argument, every replay of that conversation in your head.


It’s easy to forget that in these moments, the real loss isn’t in the argument—it’s in the energy you sacrifice to keep the fight going. We think we’re winning when we’re holding onto control, but in truth, we’re binding ourselves to the very thing we want freedom from.


We are losing and so much more than the believing we're right ...


Now imagine if you could just… let it go. Not in a way that makes you feel like you’re backing down, but in a way that allows you to reclaim every bit of energy you’ve given away. What if, instead of holding on, you chose to step into neutrality? It’s like flipping the switch on that invisible cord that’s been pulling you down. No more tug-of-war. No more fight.


In letting go, you stop the power drain. You create this clear, open space where your energy can flow again, where peace can move through you. And the moment you stop gripping that rope, the other person is free too. You break the cycle. They’re no longer wrapped up in the energy you were both feeding, and without that resistance, both of you are released.





Visualising the reality I feel brings it home.... every time you engage in that back-and-forth, you're feeding negativity. It's a very real energetic vapour that lingers and builds, clouding your vision and your path forward. You can’t see the way out when you’re surrounded by the fog of unresolved feelings. That’s why letting go isn’t just about dropping the argument; it’s about clearing the air, reclaiming your own space, your own light.


If you’ve been tangled in these situations before, you probably know what it feels like. That energy drain. That slow depletion that chips away at your spirit. Over time, it takes its toll. But once you see it for what it is….a blockage…and understand you have the power to dissolve it, letting go of bitterness, resentment, or pride is like unclogging the flow. Suddenly, your energy is yours again, whole and unbroken.


The toughest part?


It’s pride. That quiet voice that tells you, “But I’m right.” It whispers to hold onto the hurt, to keep that tether between you and the other person. But It's shutting you off from love, from connection, from peace. Pride edges out the possibility of healing, of moving forward with lightness. It keeps us stuck in a loop, holding onto a story that no longer serves us. And where there is a loop it will without doubt start to consume your whole life.. Stagnant energy is swift in taking hold.





We spend so much time consciously tying ourselves to others and situations when what we really want is to feel free, to feel connected to the good of life. And we can’t get there while we're holding onto old energy like a lifeline. Old energy ( thats for another time) is never going to be a lifeline.. it’s more likely to choke you than save you.


Forgiveness, even if the other person never says sorry, is the key that opens the door. When we release the need to be right, we reclaim the energy to be whole.


This isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about choosing not to carry it with you. It’s about stepping into YOUR own light, clearing the heavy emotions that cloud YOUR energy field, and standing fully in YOUR power.



Ancient wisdom has always told us this: energy cannot be destroyed, only transformed. So, transform it. Shift that energy from resentment to freedom, from judgment to understanding, and watch how your world changes.


Letting go isn’t a loss—it’s your greatest act of self-love.


From an energetic and spiritual standpoint, there is always more than one perspective in any given situation. Through the eyes of every human, all see their truth as absolute, justified in their actions no matter the harm it causes.


It’s not that one person is "right" and the other is "wrong"... that idea is what creates these forever attachments.. but each individual is viewing the situation from the experiences they have encountered, shaped by the perceptions, wounds and hurts that life has created.




The energy of conflict traps all participants in an endless cycle, because in every war, whether internal or external, there is no victory, only loss and separation. To step out of this, we must realise that understanding another’s perspective doesn’t mean agreeing with it, but it frees us from the bondage of needing to be right. It allows space for peace and forward movement to enter.


From the other aspect of my work I also understand fully that unfortunately, there are people out there who seem to thrive on conflict, often referred to as "high-conflict personalities." These individuals have a deeply ingrained need to play the blame game, constantly positioning themselves as victims while casting others as the villains.


They are quick to feel slighted and will go to extreme lengths to defend their perspective, often lashing out at those who challenge or disagree with them. Their mindset revolves around attaching blame to others, creating a whirlwind of chaos wherever they go.


These high-conflict individuals don’t just stop at personal attacks, oh no, they can and will escalate situations in ways that ripple through every aspect of your life.


They will manipulate others, turning family members against you, creating division where there once was harmony. In the workplace, they thrive on sowing discord, corrupting environments that were once productive and peaceful. They may spread rumours, pit people against one another, or undermine your credibility, all while disguising their actions as justified or righteous. Before you realise it, you’re caught in a web of chaos they’ve spun, draining your energy and leaving you questioning your reality.


The only way to break free is to recognise their patterns and disengage—quickly and completely..


Luckily for all of us, these people make up a small percentage of the human race, but they do tend to be the ground zero of many an ongoing conflict.


Whatever you are up against.


The spiritual and energetic solution lies in reclaiming your power by stepping out of the conflict entirely. Your knowledge of energy and how it works is your biggest defence against all conflict and more importantly not attracting it to you….




Rather than engaging in their chaos, you ground yourself in your own energy, creating strong boundaries that protect your peace. Through practices like meditation, energy clearing, and tapping into your higher self, you can release the negative cords that these individuals try to attach to you. By choosing love over fear,



and neutrality over the need to be right, you elevate beyond their reach. Their power dissolves when it no longer finds a hold on your energy. Remember, true freedom comes from within, and when you stand firm in your light, no one can dim it.


Learn to read the energy and turn away.



If you would like to further your learning why not join me on my new 9 week online course Mastering Your Potential.. … learn to take your control back and design the life that was intended for you .




Click the link



Much Love

Penny







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